Jokes, I add to this page often. And i must say there is some reallie funny shyt in here.

CartWheeling for Cash

One day a little girl came running into her house yelling, "Mommy, I got five dollars!"  The mother was curious, so she asked her child where she got the five dollars from.

The little girl replied, "Tommy down the street gave me five dollars for doing cartwheels while he sat in the tree."

The mother told her daughter, "Don't you know that Tommy is just trying to see your panties."

"OOOOhhhh" said the little girl.

The next day the little girl came running into the house yelling, "Mommy, I got ten dollars." The mother asked, "Where did you get the ten dollars from?"

The little girl replied, "Tommy down the street gave me ten dollars for doing a cartwheel while he sat up in the tree and laughed."

The mother replied, "Didn't I tell you that he is.."

Before the mother could finish, the little girl said, "Wait mommy. I tricked him, I didn't wear any panties today."

Strip Club Fun

1.)Blonde got game
A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY.
The lawyer asks the blonde if she would like to play a fun game.
The blonde, who is tired, politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.
The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun.
He explains, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me .00, and vise versa."
Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep.
The lawyer, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me .00, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you .00."
This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game.
The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?"
The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a .00 bill and hands it to the lawyer.
"Okay, " the lawyer continues. "Your turn."
She asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?"
The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references but he can't find an answer.
He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the net and the Library of Congress, but he still has no answer.
Frustrated, he e-mails all his friends and coworkers, which turns out to be to no avail.
After an hour, he wakes the blonde, and hands her .00.
The blonde says, "Thank you," and turns back to get some more sleep.
The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, "Well, what's the answer?"
Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer .00, and goes back to sleep.

2.)The Bet
A blonde and a redhead are watching the 6 o'clock news one evening. The redhead bets the blonde that the man in the lead story, who is threatening to jump from a 40 story building, will jump.
"I'll take that bet," the blonde replied.
A few minutes later, the newscaster breaks in to report that the man had, indeed, jumped from the building. The redhead, feeling sudden guilt for having bet on such an incident, turns to the blonde and tells her that she does not need to pay the .
"No, a bet's a bet," the blonde replies, "I owe you dollars."
The redhead, feeling even more guilty, replies "No, you don't understand, I saw the 3:00 edition, so I knew how it was going to turn out."
"That's okay," the blonde replies, "I saw it earlier too, but I didn't think he'd do it again."

3.)Dent repair
A blonde got a dent in her car and took it in to the repair shop.
The repairman, noticing that the woman was a blonde, decided to have a wee bit of fun.
So he told her all she had to was take it home and blow in the tailpipe until the dent popped itself out.
After 15 minutes of this, the blonde's blonde friend came over and asked what she was doing.
"I'm trying to pop out this dent, but it's not really working."
"Duh, you have to roll up the windows first!"

4.)She was so blonde th
- she thought TuPac Shakur was a jewish holiday
- she sent me a fax with a stamp on it
- she thought a quarterback was a refund
- she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order
- she thought Boyz II Men was a daycare center
- she thought Meow Mix was a record for cats
- under "education" on her job application, she put "Hooked On Phonics"
- she tried to drown a fish
- she tripped over a cordless phone
- she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said "concentrate"
- she put lipsick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind
- she got stabbed in a shoot-out
- she told me to meet her at the corner of "WALK" and "DON'T WALK"
- she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death
- if you gave her a penny for intelligence, you'd get change back
- they had to burn the school down to get her out of third grade
- she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept
- at the bottom of the application where it says "sign here"... she put "Sagittarius"
- she asked for a price check at the Dollar Store
- it takes her two hours to watch 60 Minutes
- if she spoke her mind, she'd probably be speechless
- she studied for a blood test - and failed
- she thought she needed a token to get on Soul Train
- she sold the car for gas money
- when she saw the "NC-17" (under 17 not admitted), she went home and got 16 friends
- when she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved
- she thinks Taco Bell is where you pay your phone bill
- when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead
- when she took you to the airport and saw a sign that said "Airport Left" she turned around and went home

5.) A blonde ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it into 6 or 12 pieces. The Blonde said 6 pieces, I could never eat 12.

1.)Why dose Micheal Jackson like 28 year olds? -becuz there's 20 of them 2.)Why are roach clips called "rouch clips"? -Becuz "pot holder" was already took.